Iqra Rasheed Sial
There are so many people in today’s day and age that wind up having to face the acute pain that comes with being cheated on. They are frustrated, heartbroken, and confused about why something so terrible happened to them. so I wanted to write this article today to answer your questions, give you some clarity, and guidance. Together we will dive into the psychology behind cheating so that you can gain insight on why it might have happened in your relationship, and what you can do to prevent it from happening in the future.There are certain circumstances where people cheat on their partners because they don’t love the person they are with anymore; however, there are many times where a person cheats on someone they truly love. Why do people cheat? They can cheat out of anger, for wanting something different, to boost their self-esteem, or out of sexual desire. There are multiple reasons why people cheat on people they love. Neglect in a relationship. Neglect in a relationship means feeling ignored or unimportant, when you don’t feel like a priority anymore. Some people seek out attention from another person if they aren’t getting it from their partner. Both partners need to give each other attention; otherwise, it can be extremely damaging for your relationship. Men need to know their efforts don’t go unnoticed, while women need to feel understood and appreciated. If you aren’t getting the attention you want, communicate it to your partner. Seeking a dopamine burst. A 2010 study examined 181 volunteers’ dopamine D4 receptor gene, which is the neurotransmitter that controls pleasure in the brain. The findings stated that 50 percent of participants with the longer variant of the gene had cheated on their partner. Researchers also found that people with the longer variant “were more likely to be risk-takers, and displayed addictive traits.” This suggests that people cheat on the one they love for an adrenaline rush that releases dopamine (the happy drug). Revenge. This is a horrible way to express hurt and anger. It’s the mindset of fighting fire with fire (i.e., you hurt me, so I’ll hurt you), but cheating should never be used as a weapon. The opportunity presents itself. Some individuals cheat just because they had the opportunity to do so. If it’s something that may never happen again, why not take the chance? Scenarios can include meeting someone at an event and hitting it off, drinking too much, or having an attraction to a coworker. Falling out of love. Sometimes, the person you love doesn’t love you anymore. It just happens. And instead of trying to fall back in love with you they look for it somewhere else. Once the love has faded, it can be difficult to get that loving feeling back. Low self-esteem issues. When people don’t feel good about themselves, they seek validation from sources to make them more confident and superior. When your partner doesn’t validate your feelings or makes you feel low about who you are, finding that reassurance can lead to cheating. While most often the reason is rooted in insecurity or feeling like the relationship is lacking in some way, some research is suggesting that in some individuals, cheating is actually linked to surplus or deficits of certain chemicals called oxytocin and vasopressin. Here’s what to do if you or your partner cheated. Let them explain themselves. If you’ve been cheated on, try to stay calm and don’t make any rash decisions. Hear what your partner has to say about their actions, let them answer your questions, and refrain from physical confrontation. If you feel like you can forgive them and move on, that’s wonderful. But remember that not forgiving, even if it’s after some time, can be daunting to your mental health. If your partner cheated, don’t blame yourself. If you have been cheated on, understand that this wasn’t your fault. No matter what reason or reasons your partner gives you to explain why they cheated, that is their burden, not yours. The blame lands on them because they made the decision to cheat with another person, and put their sexual desires above you and the relationship. Of course, a relationship takes two to tango, but even if your own issues may have been your partner’s reason for straying, they ultimately made the decision to cheat. Manage expectations. Have a discussion with your partner and set ground rules that take into account your exclusiveness and commitment to each other. Being honest and upfront about your expectations from the beginning can prevent things from going wrong down the road. Don’t let your world revolve around your partnerWhile it’s important to pay attention to fostering closeness in a long-distance relationship, that aspect shouldn’t consume you. No matter how much you miss the other person, don’t forget about other important areas of your life. Keep up with your hobbies and interests a happy and healthy relationship partly involves you being each partner being their own person.Spend time with friends outside of your relationship.Spending time with friends can have a powerful effect on your personal emotional health and can help strengthen your personal identity.“Once someone cheats in the relationship, there is no reason to stay if they truly loved you they would’ve never cheated”
