Learn to Enjoy Aloneness

Iqra Rasheed Sial
SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO BE ALONE NOT TO BE LONELY, BUT TO ENJOY YOUR FREE TIME BEING YOURSELF” Environmental conditions and threat of certain viruses may force you to be in isolation or separation, which may not be the part of your past life but it can be a totally different experience. When you leave your family for study, job or for business sometime you can feel homesickness. Damage in personal and professional life or your rebellious attitude may also force you to live a lonely life. Let’s try to figure out how loneliness can be transformed into aloneness. Alone vs lonely Aloneness is the state when you enjoy your own company and feel happy but loneliness is the state when you miss others which make your life miserable. Aloneness helps in your inner transformation and can be treated as positive but loneliness can make you sick. In both states physically you are separate but your mental state can change the quality of your life.Aloneness is like singing a song totally from heart. When a singer becomes a complete song in his/her being, then he can feel real bliss and feeling of being alone. In loneliness instead of singing a song, singer is focusing on audience, environment, money, name, fame and many other things which are not related to music. A lonely person is fragmented and focused on those things which are not under control but a person reaches to perfect aloneness when he/she loves or enjoys own company. Transform Whenever situations or environmental conditions force you for loneliness, kindly follow the following to transform into alones. Connect with yourself 100% Most of us have learned to distract ourselves the very moment that we feel an uncomfortable emotion such as loneliness surfacing. We may engage in “healthy” forms of distraction such as reading, exercising, or working or “unhealthy” forms of distraction such as overeating, drinking, or watching hours of television. While these options may provide temporary relief, they often lead to other problems, such as weight gain in the case of overeating or drinking, exhaustion and burnout in the case of overexercising or overworking, and even addiction. The best ways to connect with self are: Listen to yourself. Keep on observing the self. Flow with changes and challenges of life with awareness. Live and enjoy every moment of life. Full expression without suppression: Always try to live and express your feeling and emotions completely either may be of joy or sorrow. Never suppress your unlived feelings, which may cause or force you to be lonely. In simple words if you are laughing then laugh totally and if sad then cry completely, this will make you more light and free. Cultivate inner and outer connection: Research shows that we reap the psychological well-being and physical health benefits of social connection not from the number of friends we have, but from our internal and subjective sense of connection toward others. In other words, we could have only one friend or no friends at all, but if we feel connected from the inside, then we reap all the benefits thereof. This research finding is empowering because whatever starts from within is within our hands. Connect with nature: If connecting with people is a challenge, connect with nature. A recent study shows that taking walks in nature can increase our well-being, even in the case of depression, and another study showed that exposure to nature increases our sense of connectedness and closeness and even makes us more caring and ready to share with others. Connecting with nature can help broaden that vision and inspire an experience of awe at the view of a landscape. Make plans for the future: Where do you want to be in 5 years or in 10 years, both personally and professionally? What do you need to do to accomplish those goals? Writing this down can be helpful in guiding your decisions. Revisit this exercise annually to see if you’re on track or if goals should be revised. Having plans for tomorrow might help you feel more hopeful and optimistic today.

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