Rabiya Bajwa:
Your abusive partner doesn’t have a problem with his anger, he has a problem with yours. What is that we, the members of this civilized era fail to understand? What is that temptation that drives us towards this agony? Brushing aside cliches, there is a need to understand this social issue which has been menacing in our society since age long.
Domestic violence; the use of physical force with an intent to injure, abuse, damage or destroy someone. The victim always being someone lesser in power; a woman or a child. The history of violence dates back to time when the elder son of Adam, Qabeel (Cain) killed his younger brother Habeel (Abel), which has not stopped ever since. With the passage of time, violence crept and dwelled into our lives as a part of human nature, a nature we were not born with. What drives us to the brink of assaulting someone physically leaving their lives dormant for the times to come?
Time is evolving. Every passing by day brings up new challenges for us to face. The race for money and power has made us all blinded to the fact that the people, our loved ones, who surround us are the real victims here. Domestic violence is not something to be looked upon so easily. However our society is full of examples of domestic violence. May it be in the outback areas of the country where people are illiterate and wildly foolish or in the elites of the country may it be in the field of art and culture where famous singer and actor Mohsin Haider Abbas was accused of domestic violence by his wife Fatima Sohail a well known model and actress, in a detailed social media post. Where she told the public that she had been beaten by her merciless husband in pregnancy. She filed a report against him and ended up on divorce. And even the most powerful politicians are accused of domestic violence as in the book “MY FEUDAL LORD” Tehmina Durrani has written about her struggle of being with her remorseless husband Mustufa Khar, who used to beat her ruthlessly. We live in a society where a wife beaten by her husband is another normal thing. Whenever a woman gets beaten, bruised, abused or sexually assaulted by her husband it lowers her self esteem. Women think that they are responsible for their merciless partner’s abusive behavior. Which later turns into a mental illness. The women who suffer from the violence can burst into anxiety, depression, post- traumatic-stress, substance abuse, and suicide. This is just to name a FEW.
The factors of domestic violence can be too manys. Whether it’s because of Poverty, illiteracy, patriarchalism or any other reason. Violence is violence which should be considered as a crime. Sadly, in Pakistan we have a male dominant society. The issue of domestic violence is reaching an alarming stage because this issue of domestic violence is still under research and still not valued enough to be considered a public health problem or a social destruction problem. Which is actually ironic because the estimated rate is 5000 women who are being killed by this reason per year in our country and if they luckily survive, they get into a mental illness or become psychologically unfit. Reasons can be too manys and too ordinary for us for instance acid attacks, dowry deaths, honour killings, psychological abuse and too many more. Sometimes not even a proper genuine issue. We need to understand that there is no excuse for domestic violence. The “Domestic” part doesn’t matter. Violence is violence. Which has to be condemned by society and law. We live an Islamic Republic state and Islam is highly against violence. No matter who the victim is, a woman, a child or anyone less in power, they need to understand that they are equally valued by the society and the law. We need to educate people on the domestic level and make them realise to speak for their own rights. There should be a proper law for this crime “Domestic Violence” which is still not being taken crime by our law enforcement authorities. When we look at what is causing domestic violence, we will be able to fight it better.
